Canadian Travel Pack
If you are and American considering a trip “up north” do not forget the following items.
No less than two (2) American branded condoms. Canadian condoms smell like savory chicken dinner—unsexy. Canadians in general associate the smell of lemon pepper chicken with any sort of intercourse, which explains their small population.
Your passport. Don’t forget to ask for a stamp so you can show off to all your friends that you ambitiously traveled to one of the two countries bordering the US.
A notebook, a small camera and a pen. You will want to discreetly and thoroughly document your experience with these kind, simple people.
Proper clothing. The Canadian flag must fly proudly on at least two parts of your body. A wristband is a discreet—but functional—choice. Socks are a perfect addition to the wristband. If the cheap, legal and disease free hookers miss the wrist, they will surely catch the cycling socks.
Don’t forget to bring a dictionary. You can look up “polite”. We Canadians practice it, you Americans might as well get used to the concept while you are in our country. Great post by the way!
Comment by Noel Rodo-Vankeulen — February 8, 2008 @ 3:55 am
If my time in Toronto is any indication, politeness isn’t the most accurate of Canadian stereotypes.
Comment by Ross Evertson — February 10, 2008 @ 12:23 am
Toronto is about the most “Americanized” city outside the US. Most of Canada is nothing like the big smoke, in fact most Canadians hate Toronto. But of course I can’t speak for everyone.
Comment by Noel Rodo-Vankeulen — February 11, 2008 @ 10:19 pm