Canadian Travel Pack
If you are and American considering a trip “up north” do not forget the following items.
No less than two (2) American branded condoms. Canadian condoms smell like savory chicken dinner—unsexy. Canadians in general associate the smell of lemon pepper chicken with any sort of intercourse, which explains their small population.
Your passport. Don’t forget to ask for a stamp so you can show off to all your friends that you ambitiously traveled to one of the two countries bordering the US.
A notebook, a small camera and a pen. You will want to discreetly and thoroughly document your experience with these kind, simple people.
Proper clothing. The Canadian flag must fly proudly on at least two parts of your body. A wristband is a discreet—but functional—choice. Socks are a perfect addition to the wristband. If the cheap, legal and disease free hookers miss the wrist, they will surely catch the cycling socks.